positive frustration

Almost 10 years ago I started writing my first real attempt at a book. Slowly but surely I wrote about 5 short chapters. Then I got stuck and didn't know how to get where I wanted to go. So it sat for a long time. Then I thought since I know sort of how it ends, try writing the last chapter and work backwards from there. So I did. But here I am a long time coming or gone and no more to show for it. I've been collecting bits and pieces that have something to do with the book but have not felt any real pull to get back to it. Still not sure where to go.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was reading somewhere on the internet (I read so much and follow so many links from this blog to that one that I lose track of where I've been - except for the little history section that dutifully keeps track of our comings and goings on the web) that a new book is coming out next month. I've never heard of the author but his subject matter is very much like my idea. I'll probably try to read it so I can see how he handles it. Whether I'll get back to mine afterwards - who knows.

I am taking a workshop on creativity and getting back on track. And today one of the things we read said something like - someone else's good doesn't negate yours. Meaning writing is not a zero sum game. There isn't always a winner and a loser. I felt like a loser yesterday. I'd been beaten by someone else. And beaten because I was slow on the draw. But maybe I haven't been beaten. The other guy just got there sooner with his idea and its execution.

I can still pursue mine or not. Up to me. If his does well, there may not be any room for similar ideas. And yet if it does well, there may be more interest in similar projects.

But I need to decide whether to pursue or not. This book idea was obviously not high on my priority list. I have two other things I am sort of working on. My reasoning behind taking this workshop was to get some ideas for how to break my log-jam and get back working on something. Between stress at work and plenty to do at home, I've just not had any creative energy to work on much of anything. Nobody's fault but mine.

But I guess I better get moving so I can make sure those ideas I am trying to work on get done before someone else comes up with a similar idea and gets it done before me again.